Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Letters to teh Puppeh


Dear Haggis,

I love how you've managed to cover a variety of topics in your blog, from personal observations to politics, while still managing to throw in a horror story or two along the way. You are obviously an extremely brilliant individual. Your parents must be proud of you.

Sincerely,
Anonymous


Dear Anonymous,

No doubt.

Thanks, Mom.

Haggis


Dear Haggis,

Why don't you blog more often?

Sincerely,
A follower


Dear Follower,

Why don't you stop in less frequently? We'd accomplish the same thing.

Best,
Haggis


Dear Haggis,

It's been a year since you've updated your short story sales listing. Can't you tell us where to look for your new publications?

Sincerely,
Curious


Dear Curious,

You haven't seen any new publication updates because everything's been rejected this year, you hateful bastige. Now go pick on MisterBastard and leave me alone.

Best,
Haggis


Deer Hagiss,

I rely lik puppehs and I watn a Chihooa just lik yuo. Woud you come live with me? Im eigth years old.

Luv,
Missy


Dear Missy,

Do your parents have lots of money? I hope so, because you seriously need a remedial course in spelling. I've had ringworms that can spell better than you.

Best,
Haggis


That 's it for today, folks. Keep those cards and letters coming in.