Thursday, December 3, 2009

Stairway to Heaven

I suppose you're wondering why I have this picture of a ladder heading up this post. I'll tell you why. My daughter, Haggette--remember Haggette--she of the Druidic priesthood clergy thingy? She's blessed me with another Granddog. This one is called Albert. Her other dog--the First Dog, as it were--is named Lola. Lola is a year old Pitt Bull/Black Lab mix. Albert is a six week old Teacup Chihuahua.

Now if you're visualizing this, you already have a pretty good idea of where this is going, don't you? There'll be a pop quiz at the end of this post. We'll see how good your guess was.

Anyhow, you probably know I've got a soft spot in my heart for Chihueyhueys, but this is not an especially good match up. I've met Lola, and as good natured as she seems to be, she still has that Pitt in her and it's liable to crop up any minute. If it does, let's face it. Albert is lunch. Even if it doesn't, the Lab will express itself, and they do fetch, you know. With their mouths. The untrained ones do not have 'soft mouths,' and Lola is untrained. So if she can get to him he's history. But Haggette hasn't let Albert's feet touch the ground yet, so for now, he's safe.

"What about the ladder?" I hear you whine. I'm getting to that. Chill out.

Here's the thing. If Haggette continues to carry Albert around until he's full size--about 4 pounds--he might have a chance. No, no, I'm not kidding myself. I know he'll eventually be eaten, but he might have one chance to get lucky with Lola, and I'm gonna do what I can to help him. It's a guy thing, and the least I can do.

Thus the ladder.

I'm sticking it in their kitchen, right next to Lola's food bowl. Because I've watched 'the Dog Whisperer' I'll know what to tell the little guy. And if all goes well, in slightly over two months I'll have a brand new Great Granddog with a huge head and a teeny tiny body.

You can put your number two pencil away now. I was just kidding about the pop quiz.