Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Fun With Celina


Here I was sitting innocently at my local watering hole, watching my Tigers beat up on the Royals, and finishing up the last 300 words of my part of a horror short story I'm co-writing with my frequent writing partner, Jbal. I was working on my laptop, which I don't normally use, 'cause my fingers tend to hit more than one key at a time, but, you know, it's hard to drag the tower, monitor and keyboard into the bar.

Anyhow. So there I was getting ready to head for home.

"Why don't I email the story back to myself so I have an updated copy of it?" I said to myself. (backstory: I don't have wireless at home and can't get the laptop to work on my home network. I also talk to myself a lot).

"Okay, I'll do that," I said to myself, opening up G-mail and dutifully attaching the document.

Only it seems when I thought I hit "S" for my email address, instead I hit "C" for someone else's. So she got the story. Unsolicited. Unbeknownst to her. Unbeknownst to me. Until I got her email this morning.

Like I said, I.Am.An.Idiot.

And I'm really sorry to have done that to her. It must have seemed presumptuous as hell.

On the other hand, I got a damn good crit out of it. *grin*
See, the woman who wound up with the story is Celina Summers, a writer too--a damn good writer--and she writes her share of horror, so she was not offended--even the testicle in the empty eye socket part didn't gross her out. In fact, she offered to beta the story when it's finished.

When I think of other people in my address book who might have gotten it instead of Celina, I cringe. That includes two sisters who simply would not understand how I could write about such filth, one daughter who knows I write about such filth, but who would disown me anyhow (though my other daughter would laugh about it), and many, many work/business contacts who would slowly back out of the room and never darken my door again. Or cross my palm with silver either.

So you can point at me and laugh now. I won't be offended, and I certainly deserve it. What the hey? I'll laugh along with you at this one.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

How to make a stale Peeps & Dove Unconditional Chocolate Sundae

Take package of Peeps and poke a bunch of holes in it with a fork. Let sit for at least a month--but the longer the better.

Somehow acquire a 15.1 oz. container of Dove Unconditional Chocolate Ice Cream. Pose it next to your Peeps, on a cutting board, in front of your coffee pot and ahead of a container of Coffee Mate, which you don't use, but your SO does.

Remove three stale Peeps. Select your weapon.

Bisect them by slicing evenly between their evil little Peep eyes. Wipe up the Peep blood.

Chop up the little buggers.

Grab a few and stick them into the Dove container.

Shove the stale Peeps through the hard dark chocolate lid with the heel of your hand.

Grab the Peeps butchering weapon and mash the stale Peeps throughout the container of ice cream.

Eat your heart out, Ben and Jerry.