Special thanks to Kay Theodoratus, from whom I have stolen the term "book comments."
As you may recall, in the previous blog post (Why I Wasn't an English Major, AKA Dustin Time Part I) I mentioned the title of a book, Dustin Time, and named the author, June "Bug" Kramin. And that's pretty much all I had to say about it. The past couple of weeks my life has been a living hell because of that, what with June Bug plotting my death and all, so I decided I'd better take the time to write out a few book comments to go along with that sterling introduction. I'm writing book comments because I never do book reviews. Never.
Here we go.
In the interest of fair disclosure, I should admit I know June Bug personally. We have had more than one cocktail together and several meals too. I have introduced her to probably the best deli in the world inside of which sits the best cheese shop in the world. At least the best cheese shop in Ann Arbor. She could have shared a piece of the cheese she bought there had she been the kind of person willing to share her cheese which she is not.
No, I have not born any of Bug's children, but it's safe to say we're friends. So you might think I'd let our friendship get in the way of a fair and accurate review of her book. Perhaps it is possible I might overlook glaringly purple prose, as-you-know-Bobisms or even excessive adjectivitis. Because we're buds it's conceivable I might avoid commenting on two-dimensional characters, poor plotting or ghastly grammar. Because we're pals, I might just ignore seriously bad writing and give her great props, just because.
Nah.
If Bug's book sucked, I'd tell you so. Okay, maybe not. More likely, I wouldn't write about it in the first place in order to spare her feelings. She'd do the same for me too, I know. That's why I know when she finally blogs about any of my stories, I'm sure it will be a good review. That is, when she reviews anything of mine. Which she hasn't yet but will, I'm sure.
Some day.
Any day now.
*crickets*
So, here's the thing. You have to understand that Dustin Time is a chick book. I mean, all you gotta do is look at the cover to figure that out. I knew that going in, and the last time I checked I'm not a chick. So I wasn't quite sure what I'd be getting myself into when I started reading. I did know Bug is insane and that she's funny as sin. I hoped some of that would come through in the story to help get me over the hump of all the "relationship" crapola that would of necessity also be there in a chick book, draining my man-energy and forcing me to take periodic breaks flipping through chain saw catalogs in order to set my head straight. As it turns out, I didn't have to do that. Bug fixed it for me. How, you ask? Shower scenes.
I'll explain. But first you need to know a few things about the story.
See, there's this chick, Kaitlyn who's seeing this guy Dustin. There's not a thing wrong with Dustin. He's handsome, clever, funny, employed... But Kaitlyn, being a chick, has to find something wrong with him (if you're a guy you'll understand what I'm talking about here). Dustin's younger than her, and in Kaitlyn's mind this justifies ending the relationship--notice I just used the dreaded "R" word. So Kaitlyn's thinking about all of this when she steps into the shower. She stops thinking about it when Dustin lets himself into her house (she gave him a key) and joins her in the shower, which is sort where I started paying attention to the story. And it's that kind of thing which is repeated enough in the story so that it kept my attention from cover to cover. In other words, Dustin Time may be a chick book, but Bug wrote it with enough bait so a guy could enjoy it as well.
There are other things that make this novel guy-friendly. Kaitlyn travels back and forth in time repeatedly which is a kind of science fictiony thing which guys dig. Especially when you throw in the occasional grope, which Bug does. That is to say Bug writes about the gropes. She doesn't grope herself. It's Kaitlyn who does the groping. Well, Dustin too, but you know how guys are. Anyhow, there's lots of groping. There's an old janitor too, but I'm not going to talk about him, except to say he doesn't grope. He might have when he was younger.
Don’t get me wrong. This book is certainly not pRon, nor is it erotica--not that there's anything wrong with that. But there is enough sexual tension in it to maintain a guy's...um...attention.
It has an ending too. A good ending. But I'm not going to tell you what it is because if I did there'd be no reason for you go out and buy this book, which you should. While you're doing it, keep in mind that there will be a sequel too. And you'll really like the sequel. I know, because I've been privy to some of the plot points. And you haven't. Pbthhhht.
So guys, go ahead and get out your credit card and go here to order your copy of Dustin Time. If you don't want the other guys to know you've ordered it, use your first initial on the order form. No one will be the wiser, and I won't report you for any man-card violation. By the time you're halfway through the first shower scene you'll thank me.
So wait a second... you're not the father?? Doesn't that beat all! Fine way of telling me! :P
ReplyDeleteThanks bunches for the pimpage, Puppy. I love when guys say they were able to stomach it, dare I say, enjoy it.
And yes. You could add that Dustin Time 2 is actually your & Adam's fault. I'm glad you two figured out a certain character for me. Dog knows I couldn't do it!
I really just wanted a little B&N "quickie" blurb... this rock 100X more. I srsly didn't do anything about your book? My bad... I'll get on it.... tee hee... get on it ;)
*smooches*
Gee ... you're celebrating my cowardness? I don't think my own nattering about books really count as reviews ... all pretentious like the New York Times, etc. I just say what I like ... thus book comments.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the SEO whip-snappers raised their ugly heads and didn't notice.
Nice book comments.
ReplyDeleteJune "Bug" doesn't share her cheese. Just sayin'
K, Pup. Sorry my Monday skills are a little slow. Maybe I should have waited for cocktail hour when I'm a weeeee gabbier. Oh what the hell... it's 9 am somewhere! ;) *slurp*
ReplyDeleteI didn't do your stories justice but since your hints were ever so subtle, I wanted to "do you" right away.
http://www.junekramin.com/archives/2379
wOOt! Bug! You actually wrote about my little collection. Whatever made you think to do that? *poke...poke...poke* SRSLY, thanks much. I really do appreciate it. But you really should start sharing your cheese. I mean, even Tater says so, you know?
ReplyDeleteKay, there is nothing cowardly about coming up with the term "Book Comments." It's brilliant, is what it is, and by adopting it as my own, I can start writing about some of my favorite stories without feeling constrained by High School guidelines. I very much appreciate your allowing me to steal it.
ReplyDeleteWell, that is you would have allowed me to steal it had I asked, rather than just taken. At least I'm pretty sure you would have. ;)
Bea, Rusty really should share her cheese, but like you say, she won't do it. Maybe you could make her pay if, say, for some reason you were to travel to Ann Arbor and stop in Zingerman's where you could buy your own cheese and take a picture of it just to torture her. But of course that would require you to visit Ann Arbor first, wouldn't it? Not much chance of that happening, huh? :)
ReplyDeleteI'm already kicking her ass for going without me! Stop rubbing it in! (TWSS)
ReplyDeleteYou take her to Zingerman's & you're both dead... unless you mail me some cheese. And no...no sharing, duh. Can't make me do it!!
*giggles* Oh, I don't know about that, Haggis. I'm charging my camera and getting ready for some cheese pictures...for when I visit you...and when I visit Zingerman's.
ReplyDeleteAB, one of our places to visit in Ann Arbor is Zingerman's. Gots to show the Love some love. ;)
Beer at Nick's place too, Bea. And none for June. Bwahahaha.
ReplyDelete