Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Dear Osama bin Laden,

So, I hear you're dead, huh? No, no, don't worry. I don't expect you to answer, what with you being dead and all. I mean, if you were Sarah Palin, you probably already would have jumped in with a "you betcha, by golly," but you're Osama bin Laden--or were, that is--and, well, Sarah Palin is still alive. Like you're not.

Okay, that was wrong of me. One person shouldn't make fun of the fact another person is dead. I'm so ashamed of myself.

Okay, I'm not really ashamed at all. But I had you going for a minute, didn't I?

Osama, let me see if I can express myself a little bit better. But first, let me apologize for being happy. 'Cause, you know, it's not that I'm happy, really. I'm not happy like those folks in your neck of the woods who danced in the streets when you had your people fly our planes into buildings in September of 2001. And I'm not even happy like you seemed to be in those pictures you released of you and your buddies yucking it up after the buildings fell. What I am I guess is satisfied. Yes, that's it. Satisfied. And content that, though justice will never be completely done when it comes to you, at least it's been approached. And that's about all we could ask for.

You'll not find me out there dancing in the streets. Because, although I'm glad you are dead, you will not find me celebrating. Me and my countrymen and women--most of us anyhow--do not find your death a joyous occasion, but rather a somber one. One for reflection and remembrance. I think our younger folks might be a tad exuberant, but you know how young kids can be.

Osama, you should know that we are proud, so proud of those Navy Seals who took you out. We honor the service of the intelligence community who located you and patiently watched over you like a mother hen, waiting for just the right time to strike. We thank our National Security folks, and our President, who had to order the mission to go forward. And we saw that picture of all of them watching the mission go down live. You know, Osama, I think all Presidents and their advisors should be obligated to watch operations like this go down live. Because those folks are the ones in a position to order young men and women to do stuff that might kill them, and they damn well ought to have the cojones to sit there and watch the people die that they've ordered killed. And if the mission goes south, well, they damn well should be obligated to watch that too.

But none of that's important to you anymore because, as the saying goes, you sleep with the fishes now. Which brings me to my last point.

I want to apologize in advance to those fishes. Because the next time I'm by the ocean, and I hope it's soon, I intend to piss in it. I sincerely hope the fish understand.




  1. Death disturbs me but in this case I shall be content to suffer through it. Given his atrocities against humanity he got off too easy.

    And now there is celebration. Dancing in the streets. Parties. And world wide coverage.

    I remember my numb shock when the towers fell. I also remember watching the celebrations and how their joy fueled my anger and hate for a race of people that I had no great grievance with before.

    In part it was their exuberance that helped drive our retaliations. But we do not plant secret bombs to kill civilians. We do not target children to demonstrate how angry we are.

    They do.

    Now I am afraid. Who is going to pay the price for their retaliation? How many innocent people are going to die so they can make their point? How big will the bombs be?

    I wish they had taken him out quietly and left the world to rumor about his death. No enemy will allow their enemy the euphoria of victory so long as they still have breath in their forces keeping alive a taste for revenge.

    We do not have to fuel their anger. bin Laden is dead. But that has not killed his hate. We know it is coming. We should step lightly.

  2. Good post, Haggis. I agree with plenty of your points raised here. The only issue that leaves a bad taste in my mouth is the celebration in the streets. Maybe that's just a cultural thing, though. I'm British which means you can never tell if I'm celebrating something or not.

  3. I hear you, Jay, but I honestly don't think bin Laden's buddies can possibly hate us any more today than they did last week. And I sure as hell feel no inclination to step lightly. We should be free to run our country on our terms, not theirs. YMMV, of course.

  4. Luke, I think we Yanks tend to be more demonstrative than Brits. I know it's a bit of a stereotype, but I think there's some truth to it. Still, I don't care for the street celebrations either, or the chants of "U-S-A, U-S-A." But the relief that this man was finally dead was almost palpable, so even if I don't agree with them, I can understand why some of my countrymen took part in such things.

  5. Just sayin' when you kick someones ass you shouldn't brag. It's the media that does the stirring up. So just party with the doors closed. :)

    Enjoyed the post BTW. Always do.

  6. Thanks, Jay.

    You know, I liked Obama's analogy when asked about posting the pictures of bin Laden. He said, "there's no need to spike the football." I couldn't agree more. But I am sure as hell going to take quiet satisfaction in the fact that we finally scored the touchdown we'd all been waiting for for so long.

  7. Nice post, Haggis. I feel the same way.

    As much as people fear retaliation, they don't take into account that terrorists have always been after us and will continue. We're hated no matter what we do. The fury won't change. What difference does it make whether we show our satisfaction or not, they will continue to come after us. They're liars and murderers...claiming it's about religion is just a ploy and anyone who believes that is delusional. You can't prevent evil from attacking.

    Now I'm not dancing in the streets, but I did cheer that we got him. We might have a helluva lot more coming at us, but now we're one less boil on our ass.

  8. I swore that I would not make any comment at all about OBL on my blog but since you have I shall expess myself here.

    The man had it coming! Took ten years to hunt him down but in the end we were successful. Yes, there was dancing in the streets (which I kinda get) but so many more of us who chose to take this moment of history and remember.

    Remember all of our fallen soldiers over the past ten years. Remember the Moms, Dads, Husbands, Wives and all of the heroes that came from the devastation that September day. Remember the reason why we fight the battle we still fight today.

    Don't ever think, for one second, that OBL did not leave behind him an army ready to pick up where he has left off. Am I glad he's dead? You better know it! Is it over? Not yet! But we may be one small step closer.

    Thanks Haggis for letting me get that off my chest!! :)

  9. I think you're on to something with the demonstrative angle there, Haggis. Americans are definitely more up for showing how they feel than we Brits. It's just one of those national quirks we all have.

  10. Thanks, Miss Bea.

    I like that metaphor. In fact, I've already stolen it. :D

    Thank you, Miss Honey. Yep to every bit of what you said.

    Luke, vive la differance. Or however the French or Spanish would say it. :)